Miscarriage and TTC PT. 2

At our first exam when the doctor tried to use the Doppler to find the heartbeat he heard nothing. A few hmms and huhs later he said either your earlier than we thought or the baby has passed. A terrified feeling set over me that this was happening to us yet again. After we told family members and all. The doctor sent us to the hospital for an ultrasound after what felt like us telling him to do so. However that was an even bigger nightmare. We went in with hopes of getting better news or better explained information but instead we met two more medical professionals who seemed displeased with the career they chose. After the ultrasound and looking over everything. The ultrasound tech got up and walked out. We were sent to another room and a doctor came in and said we couldn’t find a heartbeat. We think the baby may not have survived. It’s measuring way to small for what we were told by your doctor so either he’s wrong or your baby is dead. Yes that’s exactly how he said it. Like he ran out of the last pair of sneakers on the shelf. We left the hospital filled with extreme emotion. Just a bundle of crazy feelings.

My fiancé said no, no that’s not it. We are getting you another doctor. We deserve answers. Your not bleeding, your still slowly gaining weight and eating a lot more (He said sorry honey, but it’s true, lol) and nothing that happened last time is happening now. We will go somewhere else. So we did. I found a new doctor within a week. I got an appointment luckily about 2 weeks after the whole ordeal. Though that 2 weeks was torture we made it through. We went in and I told my new doctor everything. How my doctor and the hospital staff treated me and how they flat out said my baby was most likely dead. We did a vaginal ultrasound and it was determined I was only 8 weeks along by now. Which meant I was only about 4 or 5 weeks along when they were trying to use the Doppler and doing over the tummy ultrasounds just going on what my doctor had told them. That’s why we didn’t hear a heartbeat or see much movement, it wasn’t much to see or hear then. My doctor explained everything. We heard a heartbeat, got an actual due date, measurements, ultrasound pictures and had some tests run just to be sure and went home with peace of mind and comfort. Feeling blessed that our baby was still alive.

Later we found out we were having a boy and we were both so excited. The girls were excited to. All they really understood was I swallowed a baby brother and he would come out sometime soon lol. Their doll clothes were more than ready for dress up, though I had to tell them boys don’t wear dresses and lipstick lol. A lot happened throughout my pregnancy. We had a lot of stressors happen during this time that took a toll on me during my pregnancy. I went to the hospital I believe twice with contractions later in my pregnancy around the late 20s and early 30 weeks but to early for him to come out. I was monitored and sent home. But all in all our son was born August 13, 2004 he was premature like my daughter weighting 5 lbs 2oz born at 35 weeks gestation and I labored for 12 hours. After my son I was told this was a miracle and probably my last child. My body can’t carry kids past 35 weeks and I miscarry which isn’t good either. 4 years and another early miscarriage later I am 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant today.

My advice if your TTC or you feel like your doctors, or whomever just aren’t taking any time to really care for you and work with you I would change them immediately. Don’t stress it to much either. I tweaked my diet and health lifestyle some and we got pregnant. My pregnancies may be early and we may have angel babies along the way but we are blessed to have our babies. I wish you all much love and support in your journeys.

Always Remember You’re Beautiful!

-Lola