It’s odd, the only time I can really be truly happy is when I’m
asleep. Though that doesn’t really help because I don’t get much of
that. Laying there with your eyes shut tight. Thinking the harder you
hold them closed the faster you’ll fall asleep. That never happens but
believe when I am finally asleep it’s amazing. When I can dream a
great dream its beautiful. When the nightmares are away that night
it’s amazing. I’m free, free to be with you. I can be myself, there’s
no judgment just love. Everyone’s happy and all the feelings that are
felt in the fairytales are there. So that way even if it will never
happen for real, I know when I sleep I get to feel it. I’m waiting,
waiting patiently for the day. The day you come to me and you say you
love me. That I’m the only one for you and no one else compares. I
wanna feel safe, I wanna feel warm and happy. I want my kids to see it
and grow to want that for themselves. I just want the innocence I had
before. Where everything was magical and everyone was capable of love.
But for now, when I dream, that’s the only time I see that world.


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